Welcome to OPEN BOOK, where we open the book on our authors and discover their literary stories!
In this edition, we'd like to introduce Harlow Kedzie, LCSW, author of Refund Please.
What was the planning process for your novel like?
The first thing you should know about me is that I am a well-intentioned planner that can, at times, get overwhelmed with the plans that I’ve made. With that said, it’s very easy for any and all plans to go off the rails, despite how well-intentioned they are. Given this little conundrum, when it comes to my writing my plan has always been to simply write. I write when I am motivated to do so. I write when I feel inspired. And I write when the lightbulb finally decides to turn on. As you can probably tell, I have no true rhyme or reason as to when I write, so my book, Refund Please, was a brainchild of what I like to call “organized chaos”.
After several years of dreaming about writing a book & planning and procrastinating on writing it, one night I just decided to start putting my thoughts down on paper. I was completely uncertain of how what I was writing would find its way into chapters, but I trusted that whatever was being written down was important. While writing and planning for Refund Please, you oftentimes would have found me in bed, scribbling anecdotes and thoughts on any free sheet of paper. Once I felt that I had a sufficient pile of scribbles next to my bedside (and felt hard-pressed to come up with any more significant stories), I began to envision and organize the layout of the book. You might say that the planning process for this book was a bit more like “flying by the seat of my pants” …and honestly, it worked for me. I was able to create a natural voice for the book, and I don’t think I would have created a book I’m quite as fond of had I given into ultra-planning tendencies.
What is the story behind the title?
Given that I was new to the author game, I didn’t know much. But there were two things that I did know: that my story mattered and that I needed a catchy-ass title. Knowing that I am someone who, when perusing the many, many shelves and stacks of books in the bookstores, is drawn to titles that are a little cheeky, I knew that others are prone to be similar. For weeks, I’d be driving to and from work and trying to wrack my brain for a clever title. I’d turn on different playlists that I’d created, hoping that I’d suddenly feel inspired by a particular lyric. I’d take detours with the hope (and perhaps the superstition as well) that the new and intriguing scenery would plop a new and intriguing title into my brain. But alas, none of that produced the results I was looking for…hence, well-intentioned planning having gone sideways. Ultimately, what happened is that I was having a therapeutic conversation with a client of mine at the time, and we were chatting about the disappointment we feel when missing out on good relationships when we remain in the bad ones. In validating my client’s experience, I ended up saying something along the lines of, “It’d sure be nice to get a refund on that time, huh?” And, voilà: Refund Please is born.
Who or what inspired your characters?
Since my book is a non-fiction memoir, I can’t give you any interesting insight into the inspiration for the characters in my book. Who’s in the book is simply who I’ve had the fortune (or misfortune) of having had in my life.
Where did you find your writing inspiration?
To answer this question, you need a little bit more context for who I am. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and a domestic violence (DV) survivor. Not to spout off about professional ethics to you all, but us social workers are expected to be advocates for members of our community, especially community members whose voices have been historically silenced, disbelieved or minimized. Being a DV survivor, I experienced this whole “being silenced” thing quite intimately, and I couldn’t stand by and not play a part in creating a space for these voices to be honored and celebrated.
As an LCSW, I’ve received training in how to be an effective therapist for individuals who experience multitudes of mental health challenges – be it depression, anxiety, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), to name a few – and I bore witness to survivors and their children showing up with any combination of these mental health concerns when presenting to the domestic violence shelter I’d worked at in the past. But here’s the thing – I’ve had clients at all levels of care speak openly to me about the abuse they’ve endured because they haven’t felt they had a space to talk about it elsewhere.
If you were to stop and reflect on one of the most painful experiences of your life, what did you want from your loved ones? I bet you wanted them to listen to you, to understand you (or at least to make every attempt to do so), to accept you and how you were able to show up in that moment. That’s exactly what all of my clients have wanted in the therapy space. And that’s exactly what I wanted when I got out and away from the person who abused me. So, when I’m asked about who inspired me to write, I can tell you: it’s my clients. It’s me. It’s all the people who haven’t felt safe or comfortable enough to tell their stories. It’s all the people whose voices have been permanently silenced because of domestic violence and other forms of interpersonal violence (IPV).
Where did you find it easiest to write?
Believe it or not, I did most of my writing at a beer café that was just a few minutes’ walk from my apartment at the time. While you might think that the raucous of a bar wouldn’t be conducive for the concentration needed to write a book, I found it oddly comforting. I enjoyed being able to take small breaks from my writing to chat with my friendly bartender (a shout-out to Phil at Beermiscuous!) or the other locals who came to know me as “the girl that comes to the bar and writes”. Yes, sometimes I got a little too sucked into the conversations around me at the bar, but the distractions were far less there than they would have been at home. And besides, what’s better than pairing the sophistication of writing with the fun of a crisp, cold beer in hand?
Where and when do you get most of your writing done?
If I wasn’t at my beer café, then I was probably writing in bed with Harry Potter playing at a low volume in the background. In case it isn’t obvious, I don’t do too well with silence; so, rest assured that any and all writing from me will have been accompanied by some background noise in the form of a comfort show or music (usually some Reggaeton or house music).
Given that 1) I am more of a night owl than what one would consider a morning person, and 2) because I am employed in a full-time role during the daytime hours, I have typically done most of my writing in the evening. In other words, the creative juices just aren’t flowing too well until later in the day.
What piece of writing advice have you found to be most helpful during your writing career?
I don’t know if I can yet consider myself to have had a “writing career” as I’ve only written one book (though more to come, I’m sure), but here’s what one of my best friends told me as I was mid-freak out about whether or not my book would be successful: “Even if one person reads and benefits from your book, I would call that a success.” The conversation that followed this emphasized the importance of believing in what you are writing. If you believe in what it is that you are creating, then you haven’t failed. If one person in this world connects with what it is that you created then, again, you have not failed. In remembering this, I have been able to stave off some of the anxiety that seeps in when writing a book and wondering if it’s worth the effort. In short, yes: it’s worth it, especially when you remember that success is how you define it.
Did you experience writer’s block? If so, how did you overcome it?
Oh my goodness, yes – all the time! Remember how I’ve mentioned being a well-intentioned planner? There were plenty of days, sometimes weeks at a time, where I would attempt to sit down and write and yet I came up with nothing. Nada. Zilch. I couldn’t form a cohesive thought if my life depended on it…or, so it seemed. While I could have become frustrated with myself for these moments, I chose a different course. Even if I sat down and was able to produce one sentence, I made sure it was the best damn sentence I could create. And when I couldn’t even come up with a single sentence, I showed myself patience; I reminded myself the imposing stress of myself wasn’t going to get me closer to the goal of creating something I’m proud of. So, in those moments when the writer’s block hit, I caught up on the ever-growing list of television and book recommendations from friends. Then I waited until words came to me, and they always did…eventually.
Are there any books that have inspired your writing?
Oddly enough, I was inspired by a number of different fantasy books – the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas and Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros, as a couple of well-known examples. Believe me, I know that might not make sense given that my book is a non-fiction memoir very much rooted in a reality that (unfortunately) does not contain dragons and complex systems of magic as you will find in many of these fantasy books that I am referencing. However, there were several years that I went without reading any books and when I finally re-invested myself into the world of books, I was drawn to the fantasy novels that centered around badass, resilient female main characters (FMCs) who refused to cower to the people who’ve hurt them. These FMCs inspired me to be as honest and courageous as I could be in my own writing and to keep from sugar-coating the truth of my pain so as to keep others comfortable.
Why should people read your book next?
I recognize that reading about or talking about mental health and domestic violence isn’t always glamorous. But it is crucial, especially because of the world we are living in in 2026 and have been living in for quite some time now. As a citizen of the United States of America, I have been bearing witness to a distressing amount of divisiveness, disbelief and minimization of survivors’ traumatic experiences, and a lack of accountability being taken by people who have power. While I am just one person, and my story is a small one in the grand scheme of things, it is a story that matters. Just as all our stories matter. I believe that we, as a community, have a privilege and responsibility to uplift each other’s stories when those in power will not. Survivors of interpersonal violence (IPV) – be it domestic violence, sexual assault, teen dating violence, emotional abuse, etc. – are among you, even if you don’t know it – but ask yourself this: why don’t you know whether there are survivors of abuse among you? Have you stopped to consider how survivors are constantly made to feel unsafe and unsupported by mainstream narratives? Even questions such as “Why did you stay?” rather than “What made it difficult to leave?” comes with a level of judgment that leaves many survivors of abuse feeling unsupported.
If you are a survivor of any type of IPV, this book serves to offer an additional piece of support and understanding that can sometimes feel hard to come by. If you are a family member or a friend of someone who has experienced any type of relational abuse, this book may give you some additional insight into how to support the complexity of emotions and internal experiences that follow a survivor after getting away from an abusive situation. And if you are someone else in the community who may not identify as a survivor or family – maybe you consider yourself an ally or simply an interested party – then this book aims to increase your awareness and empathy for the long-term effects of abuse that are otherwise not commonly highlighted.
Moral of the story: It doesn’t hurt to get a little more educated and support community members while doing so.
Refund Please is available now in paperback.
